The "Happy" Mother's Day That Wasn't

Sunday, May 14, 1995

Mother's Day had become a burden.  After almost six years of marriage, it was yet another holiday to be celebrated without a child.  I had not anticipated this day, but rather dreaded it.  

The previous week, we had attended our denomination's District Council.  I had no doubt I was not pregnant, as the usual monthly cycle had come once again.  I was quite depressed.  I spent some time away from the meetings and fellowship.  Sleeping in the hotel was my little escape.

The last morning of the council, in a very special service, our district superintendent spoke.  I honestly don't remember his sermon.  What I do hold in my memory was the moment he said the Holy Spirit was leading him to have us pray for those who needed healing.  Keith took my hand, and we stood together.  We told no one of our childlessness.  They simply laid their hands on us and prayed.

When Mother's Day arrived, Keith and I planned to go out to breakfast.  We skipped morning service at church.  This turned out to be an even worse plan.  The restaurant was filled with families honoring their mothers.  We weren't at church to celebrate our friends who were moms.  All I wanted to do was go home and be in solitude.

That evening, we did attend church.  A friend asked how our Mother's Day had been?  My response was only to say, "Mother's Day isn't a good day for us." 

A few weeks later, we attended another ministers' gathering.  Through a series of events which I won't detail here, I ended up in a women's restroom sobbing.  My heart was broken.  I was never going to be a mother.  My wonderful husband knocked at the door, and took me by the hand.  We embarked on a short walk alone.  He finally said, "We have to give this to God.  Even if we never have a child of our own, we need to be open to adopting.  Whatever God has for us, we need to be willing to obey."  [Probably not his exact words, but it was something similar.]

And so we prayed...

Within a week's time, I was sitting in a doctor's office waiting.  The nurse popped her head around the corner.  With a big smile, she announced:  "It's positive!"  The date?  June 17, 1995.  It was our sixth wedding anniversary.  And also the day before Father's Day.

For some reason, on this Mother's Day 27 years later, my heart has been filled with our story.  I felt someone needed to hear it.  Whoever you are, remember that God has a plan.  I have friends who have been called to parent their biological children. I have friends who have been called to parent through foster parenting.  I have friends who have been called to parent through adoption.  I have friends who have been called to parent through mentoring young people in their church or community.  

Hold on to hope. Hold on to God's hand and let Him lead you.

And know that I am praying.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" 

                                                            Jeremiah 29:11, NIV