I have spent my life worshipping idols.
GASP! What did I just say?
Okay. Take a deep breath. It's not what you think!
All my life, I have looked at someone who is: older, wiser, prettier, wittier, more spiritual, more popular...you name it...I have looked at that "someone" and idolized them. Not in that, "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image" kind of idolatry. It was more like a, "I'll never be able to be as.....(wise, pretty, witty, spiritual, popular)...as he/she is. They are just too (wise, pretty, witty, spiritual, popular). I could never measure up to that!"
You know the type, right? That person that never seems to run out of wise advice. The woman who never has a hair out of place, no matter how many children are clinging to her skirts (jeans?). The person who always has a funny line to lighten the mood. The one who seems to be friends with just everybody they meet.
The hardest to deal with, though, is the person who always has the appropriate Scripture for every situation. They can quote it in every version ever translated from the Greek, Hebrew, Latin...and can probably quote it in those languages, too! Because they have studied the original, and know exactly what every nuance of every word is. They are God's best friend. Even in the midst of terrible, fiery trials, they keep their testimony. A smile on their lips. A prayer in their thoughts. They even have time to feed the hungry and clothe the naked. They lay hands on the sick, and see them healed. They are super Christian.
These are the people I have measured myself against since I was a child.
And after my last post, I have been dealing with a terrible case of "I'm-the-dirtiest-rottenest-sinner-who-ever-walked-this-planet-how-can-God-love-and-forgive-me"?
It has been a rough week of self condemnation.
A few days ago, though, I read this verse again. God is not asking me to measure up to all those people I "idolized" for so long. He has a completely different system of measurement. His yardstick doesn't work the same way mine does!
With this passage of Scripture, I close this post. Reflect on it. Meditate on it (roll it over in your heart and mind). I hope it refreshes you as much as it has me.
"With what shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the High God? Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:6-8
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...
13 comments:
Joni,
I am so glad that I am getting to "know" you - you remind me of ME in so many ways.
Just the other day I was complaining to the Lord - WHY DID YOU MAKE ME THIS WAY??? I will NEVER BE LIKE _________ or all the people that I wish that I could be like. Felt like He pointed me to Ish. 37:28 & Isaiah 43:1-7!
I want that to be my measuring stick :) May He let you know that you are "precious to Him and honored because HE LOVES YOU!"
Man, oh man, have I played that guilty, condemned, I'm not good enough game. In fact, that's what the novel I just completed deals with. (There's a prayer request . . . please, Lord, let it get published.)
I love the first couple of chapters of Ephesians because I've found some solace there--it talks so much about how God is the one who makes us adequate, that we don't have to be adequate in ourselves.
BTW, if we ever met, you'd find that not only do I have kids clinging to my jeans, but fat! My hair is often out of place and I've been a mess all week--especially after I totally blew it with a friend from my homeschool group. That's why I need Jesus so much. 'Cause I rarely live up to my own standards and would wallow in self-guilt if I didn't accept God's gace . . .
Man, I hate those super Christian types, too. And the worst part is, I can be that person!
But, being that person, I know how hollow it is, or can be, and I know that I can't even live up to the person other people think that I am.
And since I know I can be false like that, I can see it in others, too, and man, it bugs me.
Hypocrisy sucks, especially when I'm the hypocrite.
Thanks for the passage from Micah, Joni. It's one that I need to constantly remind myself of.
God bless
Gregory
(By the way, in light of this post, you might enjoy my recent writeup of St. Peter
You shine! God is using you as you share from your heart.
I believe God approves of you--as you are. Even if your hair is out of place or your smile isn't showing. You are reflecting His image. Shine on...
Keep blogging.
First of all, thanks again for being so open and honest.
This is something I've had to deal with also. I had a very wise women of God tell me one time, that I was not to compare myself with others, as God had made me to be the special person I am. He made the world with me in mind! Boy, that will change your outlook, for sure! So every time I go to compare myself with others, I just remember how special I am in God's eyes. That's all that matters.
So sorry to hear of your struggles..I can easily imagine what they involve, where church stuff is concerned..unfortunately it is all too common.
I think as we see ourselves as we truly are...we don't like ourselves very much...but as we see ourselves as He sees us...washed in grace, hidden in His Son...we begin to accept ourselves and His grace...and somehow we begin to become who and what He wants for us..His measuring stick is His Son and we can never measure up to that...all we can do is receive Him and His mercy..and love, love Him, His people, this world in return. turn away from the condemnation and turn toward your Lord...its that simple...
Thank you all for your great comments and insights. And for the encouragement. As you can probably tell, it has been a rough couple of weeks. I'm hangin' in there, though.
God bless you all!
P.S. Greg, I saw your new post, but haven't had the chance to read through it. I look forward to it, though.
"Man, I hate those super Christian types, too. And the worst part is, I can be that person!"
Heh heh... sorry... me not innocent on this one... I've been seen as one, and seen you as one... oops.
"But, being that person, I know how hollow it is, or can be, and I know that I can't even live up to the person other people think that I am.
And since I know I can be false like that, I can see it in others, too, and man, it bugs me."
So that's that wierd feeling I get when friends look up to me for guidance and expect me to be perfect. It bugs me too.
"Hypocrisy sucks, especially when I'm the hypocrite."
I hate being a hypocrite.
"Thanks for the passage from Micah, Joni. It's one that I need to constantly remind myself of."
Myself as well.
Sincerely in Christ,
(and Suitably Humbled)
The Hidden One
PS: I read Greg's new post shortly after it was up, and I still don't know what to say.
PPS: Still praying, always praying.
Hidden One,
As always, thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
I really like your latest post on your blog.
Blessings,
Joni
Thankyou, but, I must ask, which post? (I don't remember which was the 'most recent' at the time of your comment. Anyway, whichever it was, there is a new one up.)
Hey girl - thinking of you :)
I wanted to thank you for becoming a treasured friend...I noticed on your comment to Paula that you are in a season of not having a lot of face to face relationships...I am in a similar place.
If you ever want to email me, I would love to hear from ya...or just be a friend if you need...my email is kimberkutrubs at hotmail dot com - from their I can give you my personal email address :)
Hope to hear from ya
Hidden One,
The post I was referring to, was the one entitled, "A Message to the Hurting". Your new post is great, too, though. Keep up the good work!
Kimber,
Thank you so much for making yourself available. You'll be hearing from me, for sure!
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