Thoughts Along the Journey

And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. Luke 2:7 May the joy of that first Christmas fill your heart with great expectancy...as we await His coming again!

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly moved. Psalm 62:1, 2

Yes, I'm asking for your prayers again. Having one of my worst days in a long time...worst weeks, actually. It's not supposed to be like this! I am supposed to be brimming with joy and good cheer. We are about to celebrate our Lord's birth...and we are anticipating His return... But there is no joy in my heart right now. Only great fear. Lord, have mercy.

Most people worry over getting "just the right gift" or other Christmas preparations. For this anxiety-sufferer, it goes way beyond that. I worry about the gifts. I worry about forgetting to buy gifts. I worry about the trip to see family, and will the car be okay? I worry about how we're going to pay the bill for getting the car repaired. I worry about the weather. I worry about the list...have I forgotten to put something on it, so I won't forget to do something??? Do you see? Advent is supposed to be a time of spiritual preparation. We are to take this four weeks and especially prepare, not only to celebrate Christ's birth, but, more important, prepare our hearts for His second return. (Let every heart prepare Him room!) How can I do that when I am trapped in this misery of fear, worry, anxiety, doubt...? It's not impossible, but it is very, very difficult. I will struggle through. Whatever you are facing, I pray that you will struggle through a...

"In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, "Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you!" But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and considered in her mind what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there will be no end." And Mary said to the angel, "How shall this be, since I have no husband?" And the angel said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come...

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably know quite a bit about me! My husband's cousin, Dawn, asked me to write something for her blog, "You Are Not Alone". Today's feature is our story. You can check it out here , and learn a bit more about me...and God's great goodness to my husband and me.

Asking for your continued prayers. I have a dr. appointment this Wed. In addition to the panic attacks/anxiety disorder, I suffer from white coat syndrome. (I get nervous when I have to take my kids to the dr., too.) Please pray for me, friends. I want to be on the road to better things. This prison of worry, fear, and anxiety has held me captive for far too long. God bless...

Dear blog friends, Please pray for me today. The roller coaster has been in full swing for several days. I long to be delivered from this prison of fear and worry. Thanks so much...

Our society calls people heroes for many reasons. Today, I'd like you to meet some heroes who are very close to my heart: Tricia and Emily. Tricia is my husband's cousin. Rather than retell their story, please go to the link below. The blog is authored by another of my husband's cousins, Dawn. You will be amazed at God's sustaining power... FOCUSED ON THEIR FAITH

My husband and I have a favorite fall tradition: the fall drive. When we lived in the suburbs of Detroit, we would drive through Hines Park. When we moved to the Upper Peninsula, our drive of choice was along Lake Superior, ending at Tahquamenon Falls. If you've never been there--go! The drive along the lakeshore is incredible. I have pictures I could scan and post, but they don't really do it justice. (I got this picture from a website.) When you arrive at Tahquamenon Falls , there are a few places you can view the falls (there are upper and lower falls). The beauty of it all is amazing. The drive back through the trees is spectacular. This is not a journey for the faint of heart, though. There is a long climb up and down stairs to get the best view. It's definitely worth it! The one thing most people notice is the color of the water. It is an amber color. This is the result of leaching of tannic acid from the cedar and hemlock swamps that feed the river. A...

DAD IS HOME!!!

Dad was transferred to a hospital closer to home this week. The plan is for his rehab to take place there. When the therapist did an evaluation, she said he could be out of the hospital within two weeks' time! Praise God! She added that it would take at least 6 months for him to get back to full strength. However, if you have ever had experience with stroke victims, you know this is truly an answer to our prayers! Thank you for your prayers. Please continue!

I'd like to ask all my friends from blogland to please keep my dad in your prayers. He had a light stroke this past week. He has a long road of rehab ahead. Please also pray for my mom. This is going to be tough for her, too. And, of course, for our entire family. We are close, even though we live far apart.

This is how I want to live my life...singing in the rain...

Today is the feast day of the archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. If you want to read more about them, check here . Our family prays this prayer every day. Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness And snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, oh prince of the heavenly host, Cast into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits Who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

For blessed is the wood, by which justice cometh. Wisdom 14:7

About fifteen years ago, Dr. James Dobson wrote a book called, "When God Doesn't Make Sense." For some reason, that title is sticking with me today. Because, truthfully, there are seasons in my life (and I'm sure you can concur) that God just doesn't make sense. Personally, this is the situation. Just last night, I was taking a walk in the cool evening. The neighborhood was quiet, but there were occasional noises of children playing and neighbors in conversation. The smell of grill smoke floated through the air. There were people out strolling, walking their dogs, and jogging. It was a beautiful evening. I spent my walk reveling in the beauty of God's creation, humming a hymn we sang in church, and basking in the feeling of peace I had. I even reflected on the fact that it had been several days since the panic and worry had invaded my inner calm. I spent some of the walk thanking God for that gift. I had some moments of rejoicing in the new energy I...

When I was a kid, I would hear adults talk about "Where were you when...?", usually in reference to the day President John F. Kennedy was shot. Since I had not been born, it was really hard for me to grasp the significance of that question and the answers that followed. The day of the assassination attempt on President Reagan, I got a bit of a glimpse into the magnitude of such an event. (I had just come home from school, turned on the TV, and saw the coverage, as the shooting had occurred just moments before.) But nothing prepared me (or anyone else in our country--or world, for that matter) for September 11, 2001. It is etched in my memory forever. We were living in northern Michigan at the time. My husband, who pastored a small church there, had left for Missouri two days before, as he was taking a week-long class down there. That Tuesday morning, I drove our oldest son to school--his second week of kindergarten had just begun. After returning home, I got busy with ...

We sang this hymn this morning at church. The title is "How Can I Keep From Singing." If you're not familiar with it, the hymnal says it is a Quaker hymn attributed to Robert Lowry. In light of yesterday's post , and another post from a few weeks ago, I was just amazed at how perfectly this hymn fit! Verse 1: My life flows on in endless song; above earth's lamentation. I hear the real though far-off hymn that hails a new creation. Verse 2: Through all the tumult and the strife, I hear that music ringing; It sounds and echoes in my soul; How can I keep from singing? Verse 3: When tyrants tremble, sick with fear, and hear their death knells ringing; When friends rejoice from far and near, how can I keep from singing? Verse 4: The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, a fountain ever springing. All things are mine since I am his; how can I keep from singing? Refrain: No storm can shake my inmost calm, while to that rock I'm clinging. Since Love is Lord of...

In some of my more reflective moods, I ponder some of the disappointments I have faced in life. What I consider even more deeply, though, is how those disappointments have shaped the woman I have become. The disappointments range from simple childhood issues to life-changing moments as an adult. I'm sure you can relate. Life isn't all rainbows and flowers, is it? One incident that comes to mind occurred while I was in college. I was privileged to participate in three missions trips with our denomination's youth ministry. Each year, we formed a choir, and sang songs we had learned in Spanish. The leader of these trips would choose one of the students to be the choir director. After the first trip, I had entered college as a music major. Prior to the second trip, one of my friends encouraged me: "They'll certainly ask you to be the choir director on this trip. You're a music major, after all!" Honestly, I hadn't even really thought about it. ...

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “ Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved you; Therefore I will give men for you, And people for your life. Fear not, for I am with you... Isaiah 43:1-5a *If you want to read the entire passage, go here .

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works. Matthew 16:24-27 What does it mean to "take up my cross?" What does it mean to lose our life for His sake? It means to embrace whatever comes into our lives and bear it through the grace He gives. Embracing a cross is painful. There are all those splinters and things, you know? But since He did that for me, how can I do less for Him?

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:1-3

I know the traditional is "Lyrics I'm Feeling Friday"...but this is my Thursday edition! :o)

Would really appreciate your prayers today, bloggy friends. Today is a struggle. "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Corinthians 12:9 I can't say I feel much like boasting today. I really do need His strength, though.

I have been experiencing some real "poor little me" days lately. In addition to dealing with the anxiety issues, there was the humbling "head in the toilet" day on Sunday (I do hate having a stomach bug!) and the resulting days of recuperation. Nothing can take my mood down like being sick. (I often feel guilty, but that's for another post.) Then, as often happens, I received a phone call. Someone I have known for many years recently lost one of their parents. But there was more to the story. I won't go into the details here, to protect privacy, but it's just a really sad situation. And I'm dealing with what? Anxiety? I have another friend who is dealing with the loss of a child. About 1 1/2 years ago, one of her children committed suicide. She is trying to return to a "normal" life...which will never be normal again. And I'm worried about "what??"" Another friend is experiencing complete help...

You ever have one of those days when it seems you need grace for each and every breath? A new infusion of the Holy Spirit for the next millisecond? It seems as if, from the moment I decided to bare my soul on this blog, Satan has been working overtime to make me regret it. The roller coaster has gone from fear, to guilt, to embarrassment, to discouragement, to rare moments of rejoicing... Truth be told, though, the down times have been winning against the up times. I know that the "weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds". I know that God is greater and bigger than all of the shame--yes, shame--I feel for what I suffer. (I am a Christian, right? Not supposed to worry, fear, or doubt?!) But sometimes the knowing doesn't get from my head to my heart. There's a disconnect somewhere between having the Scriptures revolving through my mind and actually walking it out. If you read my previous post...

This is often how my emotional and spiritual journeys feel. For instance, I'll have a really good day. Not worrying. No nagging, heart-pounding, adrenaline-rush, mind-spinning moments. And I'll think: "Wow! I'm doing so well. Maybe I'm past all this anxiety and panic attack nonsense." Then, I'll have one or two nights of less-than-refreshing sleep (read: insomnia or just waking up way too early in the morning), and the nagging, heart-pounding, adrenaline-rush, mind-spinning cycle floods in like a tidal wave. Rats. Or, on the spiritual side of it, I will have a day of feeling so deeply intimate with the Lord and sensing the presence of the Holy Spirit in an almost physical sense, He's so close. And I'll think: "Wow! This is awesome! I feel so close to the Lord. I feel like I could move mountains today!" Then, the next day will be a day filled with feeling like God is trillions of miles away and doesn't hear a word I p...

Listen, O daughter, consider and incline your ear; forget your own people also, and your father’s house; so the King will greatly desire your beauty; because He is your Lord, worship Him. Psalm 45:10, 11, NKJV This afternoon, I read an article titled, " A Reflection on Beauty: God's Chosen Gift to Women ", by Jennnifer Hartline. You can read the full article at the link above. The summary is this: women desire to be thought of as beautiful. Any woman who disagrees with that statement needs to look at the reality of our world. The millions (billions?) of dollars spent each year on clothing, shoes, accessories, makeup, facelifts, botox, etc. etc. etc. are a clear picture of what women are looking for. They want to be viewed as beautiful. I am very aware of the fact that the most beautiful part of a woman is supposed to be her heart. Her spirit, beaming through her face and actions. (I Timothy 2:8-10 and I Samuel 16:7) The outward appearance is not wh...

Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:25-33 This is one of those amazing stories in the Bible. A storm. Jesus walkin...

For those who suffer from anxiety, depression, the loss of a loved one...whatever storm you are walking through today...praise Him in the storm. "But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10

I love Tim Hawkins, and wanted to share this with all of you! Humor is often an amazing healing agent.

The reason I began this blog so very long ago was to journal our family's faith journey. Then it became a bit more devotional in nature, as I shared Scripture and occasional insights into things I was learning from God. With yesterday's post, I have opened a whole new can of worms, as it were. Baring my soul like that did not come easy. I truly sensed that I am not the only one with these struggles, and there are others out there who may need to read this. If I can help someone else along the way, then the purpose of this blog will be realized. God bless, friends. God is good...all the time!

I'm about to get very real in this post. I battle with panic attacks. I'm not sure when they began. I know I had moments of "foreshadowing" when I was a kid. I had a pretty secure life, so those times were few and far between. One of the worst episodes was when I was a small child. We had gone camping in the Rockies. At one point, we planned to leave our camper/trailer behind for a day and drive to a different area. For some reason, that trailer was my security--home away from home, if you will. Leaving it there scared me. I curled up in the floor of the car (days before seatbelt laws) and refused to look out. My sisters tried everything they could think of, but I was not to be swayed. I wasn't okay again until we got back to the trailer that evening. That's probably one of the most extreme examples from my childhood. I didn't really have major battles with this until I was an adult. Faced with the uncertainties of new jobs (especially after be...

"Give us this day our daily bread..." I pray the Lord's Prayer every day, sometimes two or three times during the day. Our readings in Mass over the past few weeks have taken us through the book of Genesis, and then on into Exodus. The story of God providing manna is so incredible. I mean, who but God would think of sending His people bread from the sky? Yet it did not come without guidelines. They should only take enough for each day. More would come tomorrow. Only on the day before the Sabbath were they allowed to store extra manna for the following day. Otherwise, the manna would rot and be filled with worms. And then God brought it all home to me... The fact is, I am a worrier. There are many factors that go into that. Often, a lack of sleep is the cause. Sometimes it is circumstances that take me out of my comfort zone (read: areas that I can control). Sometimes it is hormonal in nature. But whatever the cause, I go into panic mode. What if...? Fill...

I have every intention of returning to blogging. Facebook is great, but my contention that it is less time-consuming than blogging doesn't hold water. It's too easy to sit for long periods of time, scrolling through status updates, looking at friends' pictures, etc. A few minutes on a blog post is nothing compared to that! The only problem I've noticed is that, no matter how often I post...not much readership. Oh, well. I'll take what I can get! :o)

My tulips have finally bloomed!

I learned the news of David Wilkerson's tragic death last night. He and his wife, Gwen, were involved in a headon collision with a truck. Gwen was injured as well. David Wilkerson's life touched so many different people, from so many walks of life. He is best known for his book, "The Cross and the Switchblade," which told the story of his journey to New York to work with young men and women in street gangs. The ministry that grew out of that experience, Teen Challenge, has touched the lives of men and women around the world. My husband used to work at the Teen Challenge in Detroit, where we personally saw the life-changing message of the Gospel work in the lives of people who were addicted to drugs, alcohol, and whatever else Satan who ensnare them with. More recently, our oldest son began an interest in the book, and the life of Nicky Cruz. He is currently reading Nicky's book, "Run, Baby, Run". The power of God to set captives free... I am so thankful...

"He is not here; He is risen, as He said." Mt. 28:6

"Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. And during supper, when the devil had already put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper, laid aside his garments, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him." John 13:1-5 Notice that Jesus washed the feet of ALL the disciples. Even Judas, who had thirty pieces of silver rattling in his pocket. Even Peter, who would soon deny even knowing Jesus. All of them: each who would run in fear when He needed them most. He took servanthood to a whole new level. And they would never forget His example.

Will post more on my lenten thoughts soon. My kids are on spring break, so I'm focusing on my time with them. God bless!

"But Jesus came and touched them, saying, 'Rise, and do not be afraid.'" Matthew 17:7 When He touches us, we have no need to be afraid. Yes, He is the Lord of all creation and the Ruler of the universe. And yet, we have no need to be afraid. For He is the One who became man, was tempted "in all ways, even as we are tempted, yet without sin," and suffered and died for us. We have no need to be afraid.

"...and all who heard Him were astounded at His understanding and His answers." Luke 2:47

In lieu of my daily Lenten posts, I invite you to learn more about St. Patrick. Click this link to Learn About Saint Patrick!

"...at the preaching of Jonah they repented, and there is something greater than Jonah here." Luke 11:32b What does it mean to repent? Many people think that by saying they're sorry, the issue should be closed. I said it, so that should end it. Not exactly. Because sometimes we say we're sorry for the wrong reasons. We got caught. We don't want someone to think poorly of us. We want the "bad" situation to be done and over with, so just say "sorry". To try to lessen the uncomfortable feelings that come with whatever we have said or done. The right reason--and true repentance--is saying, "I'm sorry" with a heart that longs to change. To have a true desire to never do the wrong again. To undo the damage as best we can...to make amends. To restore relationship. The story of Jonah is full of comparisons between Jonah and the people of Ninevah. Most people know the story: God called Jonah to preach in Ninevah. Jonah ran the other way. F...

"Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of Mine, you did for Me." Matthew 25:40 Just a brief note tonight, as the day has almost gotten away from me. If we read this entire passage (Mt. 25:31-46), it can seem a bit of a mystery. Sheep? Goats? And what does that have to do with feeding hungry people, visiting the sick, and going to prisons? I think it can be summed up this easily: If we want to truly be followers of Christ, we will show our faith by our actions! Look around you: who are the "least"? And what can you do for them that will truly show them Christ? "Jesus, teach me to be generous with all the riches you have given me. Show me how to share them with the poor in my midst--even in my own home. Lord, I want to become like You!" . *check out the website for Operation Rice Bowl for ideas on how you can help "the least"

I'm experiencing quite a mixture of emotions on this day, March 13, 2011. First, the joy of having been at Mass this morning. Today was the Rite of Sending, in which we send those preparing to be received into the Catholic Church to our cathedral in Cleveland for the Rite of Election. It reminds me of the day 4 years ago when we attended the rite, shortly before our family's reception into the Catholic Church. A very special day, and exciting to see the hundreds of others who were on the same journey. Today was also the sort of "prologue" for our church's annual mission services. Each year during Lent, a special speaker comes and conducts the mission services. The purpose is to encourage our parish to pursue our mission: living as God's people and reaching our community for Christ. Our speaker this year is Fr. Damian Ference , who teaches at the seminary in Cleveland. He is a man filled with energy and a passion for Christ. The words he spoke this morning rang...

"He said to him, 'Follow Me.' And he left everything, and rose and followed him." Luke 5:27 There are so many things we can learn from today's Gospel reading in Luke 5:27-32. I'll do my best to walk through it slowly here. First, Levi (Matthew) was a tax collector. This meant that, though he was Jewish, he was an employee of the Roman government. Tax collectors in those days were wealthy men. Not that the government was such a generous employer, mind you. The main reason was that the collectors would collect the necessary tax required by the government, but then also add an extra toll for their own pockets. (Remember Zacchaeus?) So, for obvious reasons, the general Jewish populace did not have much regard for the tax collectors. Jewish they might be by birth, but the others saw them as traitors. Yet, Jesus chose him as one of His followers. Just as surely as He called Andrew, Peter, James, and John...He CHOSE Matthew. The lesson to learn here? More than one, I...