My journey path is about to take some new twists. I am walking into some uncharted territory. I'm not great with the unknown. I want a map and detailed instructions, thank you very much. However, as we all know, that is not usually the way life goes. We need to learn that God alone sees the "big picture," and that we can trust Him to guide each step--even when we'd rather be able to see miles, not inches.In a little less than a month, my time as a home school mom will come to a screeching halt. Our boys will begin life as students in our parish school. It will be a time of letting go and watching God take my little chickadees out into a new world. I'll admit to being a control freak. I want things as they should be at all times. Having my kids away for several hours a day is going to be a big adjustment for all of us. It's time to release them into God's care and allow Him to take them on this next step on their own journeys.
I went through this six years ago, when our oldest started kindergarten. It really took some time for me to be able to drop him off or see him out the door, and not shed tears. Then 9/11 took place, and I didn't want to let him out of the house. I did, though, because I knew I must. A year later, we began home schooling, so that was no longer an issue.
So now it is time...almost...to let go again. A new chapter in learning to trust God's care and protection. Yes, I'm worried about how they'll do. Have I taught them enough? Are they prepared to compete in a classroom setting? Will they be able to work in that atmosphere, now that they are so accustomed to the home "class" setting? Will my oldest son be able to concentrate in a roomful of kids? Will my youngest learn to control his temper and get along with others? Will they still want to spend time with me, and tell me all the things they find amusing, intriguing, etc.? Will they flourish there...without me? My little boys are growing up. Wow, is this hard to deal with.
Yes, I'm feeling a little gloomy today. The Ohio weather is probably contributing to my mood. Yet, as that pretty sunrise picture illustrates, I know there is much to look forward to as well.
Another leg of the journey begins...
6 comments:
Oh, I soooo know what you mean by wanting to see miles instead of inches!
As much as I know better, I still have a tough time with that one.
Ah, children... Immense blessings! Mine's an adult now but I remember all of the letting go stages. I remember kindergarten like it was yesterday.
When all of the other kids were walking to school along, I was the mom following behind the child, trying to hide behind trees and posts so he wouldn't see me, but too scared to let him walk to school alone.
oops - I meant the kids were walking "alone" not "along"
My youngest goes to preschool this year. I am already having a hard time. Ugh, why do they have to grow up! They keep promising me that they won't....but they are liars!
Too, too quickly the time is flying by...
I can relate to what you are saying. It's so hard to let go, and to see them grow up. I think it's always harder on mom than it is on them. Letting the first one go off to college hours and hours away was terribly hard.....and now to have a second child getting married is hard too....where has the time gone? I try not to dwell on it....it makes me feel old!
the letting go. oy. so hard. even with fluffy at home, i am confronted by the letting go every day. it's an internal journey, yes? with all sorts of externals triggering.
i have good feelings about this 'leg' for you.
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