“…love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you…”(Matthew 5:44b)
For me, this has to be one of the toughest verses in Scripture to obey. I really don’t have a lot of out-and-out “enemies,” I guess. But the whole message is that we need to love and pray for those who have wronged us. I have found it to be true that if you’re praying for someone, it is very hard to stay mad at them.
There is a person I know that has wounded me deeply in the past. I’m not even sure this person remembers the incidents. It all happened so many years ago. Yet the series of events that occurred, and the role this individual played in the whole thing, are still hurtful to me today. I have confessed this pain to the Lord many times over the years. I have told Him that I forgive this person. (Some would say I should go to this person and tell them I have forgiven them. I really don’t agree with that, though. If the person doesn’t remember the situation, and doesn’t even know I was upset with them, to me that only makes it a case of “I feel better, but now you feel worse.” That’s not right, either.) I have repented of my feelings toward this person more times than I can remember. Every time I do this, I feel like maybe this time I have let it go. But then something will come along to remind me of the pain and humiliation this person caused, and those old feelings rise up in me again.
I think I am beginning to see, though, through this passage, why that may be. At different times in the past, I have become aware of needs in this individual’s life. Whether they were financial needs or physical needs, I always took the time to pray about the specific needs, and for this person. But I haven’t made it a practice to pray for the person every day. Now I’m thinking that may be what it takes to finally let go of all this.
I want freedom from the burden. And I want to be finally and forever healed of the wounds that were inflicted upon my heart so long ago. I want to be able to truly say I LOVE this person.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."
1 comment:
That IS a tough one, isn't it.
Everyone is different and it may be that you have to pray for this person daily and it may be that you just have to pray for them as the Spirit directs you or as it comes to your mind.
I have discovered that praying for an "enemy" even before I feel love or forgiveness actually helps the process of finding that love and forgiveness. It's almost like God gives us that when we can't come up with it ourselves.
I agree with you on the issue of not approaching the person and telling them that you forgive them.
I think that you DO love this person. I say that because I think love is more about what you do than what you feel. When you pray for them you are loving them, regardless of how you feel at the moment. Loving and forgiving doesn't mean that what happened to you didn't happen; It doesn't mean that your hurts aren't real or valid; It doesn't mean that what was done to you is "okay".
The fact that you have decided not to approach this person because you are thinking about their welfare rather than making yourself feel better is another example of your love. Even in this you are being considerate of that person and letting God teach the lesson to them rather than trying to do it yourself.
Sometimes these things are like layers of an onion - you get through one layer and find there's another layer to work through. That doesn't mean you are failing to deal with it properly - It means that you are progressing and dealing with it. I know, though, that it doesn't feel like it's a good thing.
God bless you, Joni. You are a blessing to others.
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